Laughing City

Do you stick to your friendship standards?
yes
52%
 52%  [ 11 ]
mostly
38%
 38%  [ 8 ]
50% of the time
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
not alot of the time
9%
 9%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 21

Author Message
Dat
Golly, Poster


DRMS_7888 wrote:
Dat wrote:
On the flipside, not wasting my time is important too. This girl made it seem like she needed to be picked up from the bars because her friend left her alone, but when I got there she wanted me to stay and have a drink. Really not cool. Stopped talking to her after that.


She obviously wanted to B.O.Y.D.


If she were a decent friend she would have just asked me out upfront instead of deceiving me and wasting my time. I had to break my plans that night to pick her up.

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johnip
Vintage Newbie


wilsmith wrote:
one unofficial standard I have is this:

If a person speaks like they text*... ciao.



*"el oh el, Oh em gee, Double you tea eff" ugh

lolz

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vivalaspopie
Vintage Newbie


Just honesty. I've known a few people over the years that would constantly pull out stories like: "my boyfriend ran me over," or "my parents make me sleep in the backyard." The stories would get repeated constantly with different details. I could not handle that degree of lying. I do not appreciate lying at all.
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kathymunster
Golly, Poster


for a friend as someone i hang out with, something light and just someone to have good times with over nothing important my only requirement is someone who is fun/funny, and not too...stupid.

but for a friend as someone i can be sure to count i just need someone trust worthy, someone with depth, and someone with a good sense of humor.
i like my friends to not be so.. americanized also, if that makes sense. my friends are very diverse and are 'cultured' this wasnt done on purpose. but i like this a lot.

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jdstories
Vintage Newbie


It really depends on what level of friendship you're meaning.

I can have friends that I hang out with in a bar. Those friends just have to be entertaining and fun.

I can have friends that I would meet at a bar. Those friends have to be fun and not stand me up.

I can have friends that I would hang out with at home. Those friends have to be fun, smart, somewhat punctual, and trustworthy.

I can have friends I confide in. Those friends have to be intelligent, empathetic and discrete.

My very best friends are fun, intelligent, punctual, trustworthy, empathetic, and discrete.

Actually they are usually some mixture of the above. I don't seem to know anyone that fits all of those. Usually the missing attributes are punctuality or empathy.

I'm sure I've left some stuff out, but that is the general outline I use.

JD

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Sprocket
Vintage Newbie


Not liking Family Guy.
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crusso
Sea Post King


I've never really laid it out, but inherently we're wired to value certain things. Things like Trust, Respect, Honor, Integrity, the list goes on.

Probably one of the most important things about a friend, is that they uplift you and support whatever decisions you make in your life (provided they're good decisions) and they aren't afraid to bonk you on the head (done w/ love!) when you're making really bad decisions.

When someone I consider a friend tries to tear down something I'm excited about because of their own insecurities, I have to question that person is really a friend or not.

Lastly, another very important thing in any relationship (marriage, friends, family) is the ability to look past your shortcomings and forgive your mistakes. Life is so simple if you can forgive mistakes and move on. It's not always an easy thing to do though and there are times when you have to end a friendship because a person refuses to resolve things. You don't have that option in a marriage (different conversation for a different thread, don't derail please) or family, but you can distance yourself from family at least.

TL;DR - Yes, I hold my friends to standards, but I don't lord it over them or make them fill out an application or anything Razz
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Last edited by crusso on Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:16 am; edited 2 times in total
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Saellys
Vintage Newbie


Sprocket wrote:
Not liking Family Guy.


+1.

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SamuraiPunk
Vintage Newbie


I want to meet a manipulative girl who takes advantage of the fact that she's attractive. If i always feel like i have a shot at something more than friendship i could almost be happy.
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jdstories
Vintage Newbie


crusso wrote:
Yes, I hold my friends to standards, but I don't lord it over them or make them fill out an application or anything Razz


I sort of agree. You can't really hold your standards over someone else. You have to be friends with people on their terms. Know what I mean? Or don't be friends with them. Believe me, if I held other people up to the same standards I hold myself up to, I would have maybe two friends in the world.

One of my very best friends in the world is often very flaky with regards to keeping dates and certain types of temporal obligations, which is in complete opposition to myself. At the beginning of our relationship it bothered me a lot, so I used to really bust his chops about it, but it began to affect our friendship. I soon realized that the time we spent together was important enough to me that I needed to relax about that particular shortcoming of his in order for the friendship to survive.

I think he was preparing me to be with my wyf who is constantly making us late. Without my bud, Andy, I might not have developed the tools to deal with my wyf's tardiness. It really doesn't bother me most of the time. I used to think it was a sign of disrespect, but now I realize that for some people it is just wiring.

The trick is to not have any emotional attachment to the particular shortcoming. For example, I wouldn't give my best bud or my wyf any task that was super important to me and required punctuality. Everybody walks away happy.

JD

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boone
Vintage Newbie


I do now.
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