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 Post subject: Bittersweet.Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:46 am 
bought an Eisley shirt in St. Louis, unbeknownst it had a hole in it. No way to return it. It was a gift. I will get it fixed and hopefully find it a home. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB           
 = personal fave  = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:00 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Joined: 05 Apr 2006 | Posts: 750 | Location: Dallas, TX
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Post subject: thanks. Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:15 am
sukieinthe_g wrote: Aw, I say go ahead and send it to her. You did buy it for her after all.
This is a sucky situation though. I'm sorry. Praying and thinking, things have been tough but God see's you through and builds strength through weakness. The proverbs are a great place for guidance on stuff like this, they never fail, I'm going there for help. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:02 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Post subject: Re: thanks. Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:22 am
wilsmith wrote: sukieinthe_g wrote: Aw, I say go ahead and send it to her. You did buy it for her after all.
This is a sucky situation though. I'm sorry. I haven't asked her if she wants it. Afraid of opening a can of worms there. When you still care about someone, you want to act on it, and I had planned burning her cds of the Early Eps and live b-sides as a care package of sorts. I would still do all this, but she made the call to end it this time, but put out that it really hurts her. I've given her a LOT of things over the years, and whenever things are bad, she's constantly reminded, and either misses me and appreciates the things I've shared, or is broken up by them and feels like she has to get ride of them. That said, I don't want to just make her feel worse. Plus, if she would have came to that show, we probably wouldn't have broken up because she wouldn't be so frustrated with not being able to see me and have normal dating experiences. Such is life. Que sera sera. ...sorry about all that. long-distance is definitely a pain in the butt/frustrating.
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Joined: 14 Feb 2008 | Posts: 269 |
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:08 am
Hm. Sorry to hear about all of this. Since this is all so fresh, maybe you can hold onto it a bit longer and then see how she'd feel to have the shirt? If that doesn't work, then you can do the prize thing. I think the shirt would be a cool prize, so that sounds good. Now, if you just want to get rid of it as soon as you can ... Then maybe you can hide it somewhere for a bit. _________________ My photography:www.jamiemphoto.com You can't spell awesome without emo...backwards! -Julie definingawesome (11:44:11 PM): Eisley shivers our timbers |
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Joined: 15 Aug 2003 | Posts: 25184 | Location: East Texas
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:25 am
TheAntrider wrote: Hm. Sorry to hear about all of this. Since this is all so fresh, maybe you can hold onto it a bit longer and then see how she'd feel to have the shirt? If that doesn't work, then you can do the prize thing. I think the shirt would be a cool prize, so that sounds good.
Now, if you just want to get rid of it as soon as you can ... Then maybe you can hide it somewhere for a bit. Right now It's in a drawer with other shirts with graphics on them, cause I typically only wear plain shirts displaying no logos, unless I actually work at said place on the shirt. I think it has to do with trying to be harder to figure out since I am abnormally tall, and African American, which lends people to already assume they may know what I am about, and feel certain ways. Sort of stupid on my part if I want to promote a good band huh? Oh well, then I'd be judged by all the people who would think I am like them and then ask "What's that word mean on your shirt?" and I'd have to explain that it's a band they've never heard of or wouldn't listen to because they are in a certain cultural box based on what they see themselves as. A blank shirt says nothing, and spurs no conversation, save this explanation. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:07 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:48 am
Aww.. I'm sorry
If you're okay with remaining friends with her or want to make an attempt to, I think you should still send her the shirt but maybe with a letter explaining what happened ("bought this before we broke up but there was a hole, etc. even though we broke up, we discovered Eisley together and sorry you had to miss the show, etc. etc.") _________________ Be happy, be contagious. |
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Joined: 15 Jul 2005 | Posts: 2072 | Location: Florida
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:04 am
golly_sandra wrote: Aww.. I'm sorry
If you're okay with remaining friends with her or want to make an attempt to, I think you should still send her the shirt but maybe with a letter explaining what happened ("bought this before we broke up but there was a hole, etc. even though we broke up, we discovered Eisley together and sorry you had to miss the show, etc. etc.") after all the strain and unwelcome pleading, I hope there's room for grace and maybe someday reconciliation, but if not I'll just have to make my peace and accept it was not meant to be. I know who should get the shirt though, that came to me, and would make both of us smile, my ex and myself, because the recipient in the one person who called us for what we were, and saw us at our very best and worst, and would appreciate it at her age, and make it her own. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:10 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Post subject: Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:05 am
to be honest, if I were in her situation, I wouldn't want you to send it. it would just make me really sad, I think. |
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Joined: 10 Nov 2005 | Posts: 1692 | Location: orange county, ca
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Post subject: thanks for everyone's advice and empathy. Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:38 am
nevernever wrote: to be honest, if I were in her situation, I wouldn't want you to send it. it would just make me really sad, I think. It's hard to digest feelings of remorse and regret when you feel like you are letting someone down, or worse, breaking their heart. It's tricky cause you can end up making that person feel bad for making you feel down and keeping you from moving on because they can't do the same. Sometimes it causes people to feel like they have to shut that person out and turn cold on them in order to burn the bridge. I have never approved of it, because I have done it and I know there's gotta be a better way. I think the challenge is that sometimes we feel God is giving us what we want, so we rush to it because the prospect is so exciting, but in the process we lose site of just who to handle the hard things we have to do to get there in a Godly way. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:15 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:55 am
Things will make sense more down the road, I'm sure. Especially with faith. And that sounds like a good solution for the shirt! Gotta take the downs and try to make them into ups. And this sounds like a good up. _________________ My photography:www.jamiemphoto.com You can't spell awesome without emo...backwards! -Julie definingawesome (11:44:11 PM): Eisley shivers our timbers |
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Joined: 15 Aug 2003 | Posts: 25184 | Location: East Texas
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:46 am
wilsmith wrote: Don't expect to keep up with her much, if at all, we were friends for 5 years prior to romance, and can't go back to that, as this was a very serious relationship. Don't say that, it's possible you guys could still be friends. I moved from NY to VA to be with my ex fiancee. Then she cheated on me and broke up with me and after some time healing on both our parts, we're close friends again -- we just saw Eisley in DC as a matter of fact. I probably wouldn't send her the shirt though, I feel like if I were her, I'd just be reminded of what happened. |
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Joined: 04 Jul 2006 | Posts: 71 | Location: Fairfax, VA
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:55 am
TheAntrider wrote: Things will make sense more down the road, I'm sure. Especially with faith.
And that sounds like a good solution for the shirt! Gotta take the downs and try to make them into ups. And this sounds like a good up. Thanks for all your support and encouragement. I'm blessed with Ministers, a father, uncle, cousin's and friends, who have stepped up to console me. I thank God especially for the one's who've told me to not lose hope. I think that's a saving grace, cause to lose hope is to lose any chance, and as long as there's life and breath, there's always a chance. Who knows what God has in store for us all? _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:57 am
Please forgive me but, I must.... GETTIN' JIGGY WIT IT! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! |
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Joined: 12 Jun 2005 | Posts: 20735 |
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:02 am
Morwen wrote: wilsmith wrote: Don't expect to keep up with her much, if at all, we were friends for 5 years prior to romance, and can't go back to that, as this was a very serious relationship. Don't say that, it's possible you guys could still be friends. I moved from NY to VA to be with my ex fiancee. Then she cheated on me and broke up with me and after some time healing on both our parts, we're close friends again -- we just saw Eisley in DC as a matter of fact. I probably wouldn't send her the shirt though, I feel like if I were her, I'd just be reminded of what happened. With the shirt resolved, the cot remains an issue, but the solution is in affect. Oddly enough, my futon broke last night, thus I NEED to either fix it, or get the cot back. I pushed forward to do both after falling to impulse and calling the one who is going on a path I can not follow. _________________ yup, that's my name. FOR YOUR RATING PLEASURE: 4 LIKE Buttons, 1 NEUTRAL, 1 VEXED, 5 DISLIKE buttons. LC > FB
= personal fave = Eisley fans should dig it
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008 | Posts: 9641 | Location: Greater St. Louis Area
Last edited by wilsmith on Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:20 am; edited 1 time in total |
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